Social media for the Paranoid

Door to Door Service

The FT is reporting that the amount of cellular phone data traffic has surpassed the amount of voice traffic.

We’ll that’s nothing. I’ve been to the planet Bolt where cell phone calls almost don’t exist and data is everywhere. During my four hours on planet Bolt I saw the future – and its like a hyper accelerated version of eight minute dating. If you want a conversation on planet Bolt, youd better be able to pitch in 8 seconds, and that has big implications for how a business – or even a parent communicates with a younger generation.

So first, let me explain that earlier last week I organized a drinks party for alumni of my business school (Insead) in Orleans, a local bar and restaurant. Due to a splendid piece of good (or bad) timing, I managed to pick the same time and place as a 1^st birthday party, and an eight minute speed dating session. The ensuing chaos caused several of the single guys to take one look at the babies and make a run for the hills, and me to win the “piss up in a brewery” failure award.

So what did I learn from watching two hours of speed dating from the comfortable world of a drinks party? Well, that it was a huge amount of work and stress for all involved – especially as it seemed to be done without the benefit of that great social lubricant – alcohol.

Anyway, back to planet Bolt, which on planet Earth is know as the Bolt Bus. This is really a Greyhound bus in wolf’s clothes – with brand new black leather seats, power outlets at every seat, and free wi-fi. All for $15, including a free trip from Boston to New York. Makes a change from the Fung Wah bus which pioneered the concept of cheap bus rides from Boston to New York – along with the concept of unscheduled picnics in the breakdown lane of the Turnpike, while Mr Fung Wah would poke around in the engine compartment as clouds of black smoke billowed out.

The Bolt Bus was full of twenty–something year old cool dudes – and me. The entire bus of fifty or so people made a total of two phone calls – one in Yiddish to a guy’s mother (who else?), the other to announce the bus’s arrival. Two people (including me) read a newspaper, and one person had a book. So what did they all do? Well very little talking for a start. Instead everyone was online – with iPhones, Droids, or laptops. Everyone had a dozen conversations on the go – all the time. One Berklee College of Music student was arranging a piece of music on his laptop by asking his friends to send him snippets of music that he would mix together – all via Facebook. Another was writing a term paper with the help of her Facebook friends.  The pace was crazy. People were texting on their cell phone at the same time as tapping away on their laptop. Just looking at the speed with which they switched conversations made me dizzy. Eight minutes would have been an eternity in that world – more like 8 seconds. So what did they do when they ran out of steam? Slept. We could have been on the moon – nobody looked out the window, and long attention tasks like reading a book were rarer than black leather on a vegan bus.

I got off in New York exhausted from watching all this – and headed into a bar. The beer was great, pity it cost more than the bus, especially as I was late and had to bolt it down.